GAME NEWS!

Just in case you were wondering, the DS is still a bag of old bollocks.

It's not even worth pirating wank like this!

It's only a matter of time before we see Kerplunk DS on the shop shelves at this rate.

RESULT!

Got a refund. That'll teach the pikey bastards to mess with me.

Live Comet Chat

You can chat to the EXPERTS at Comet right now via their website

I wouldn't bother though.

They're fucking useless!

Comet Channel

This is a brilliant find and has literally given me weeks of potential material!

This is a direct quote from Comet's Youtube channel:

'Everyone needs a little advice every now and again - and we want you to be as expert as we are in electricals, which is why weve created the Comet channel. We're here to make sure you get the right product everytime'

English lesson: You've missed an apostrophe off one of the words. Also, 'every' and 'time' are TWO seperate words, not one. You stupid twats!

Here's what Comet's quote should have said:

Everyone needs a little advice from time to time. When that time arises, please don't ask us because we haven't got a fucking clue about anything. We're still trying to figure out where are arses are in relation to our elbows. If you do end up buying anything from us, don't expect to get a refund on it if it breaks. We operate CRIMINALLY!

They've even been stupid enough to allow comments. let's all take advantage of this.

I've already started the ball rolling

Shitting Comet!

I will NEVER got bored of doing things like this!

I might have to start scraping the barrel even more, but rest assured, it WILL continue!

Fucking Comet AGAIN!

Good news:

See here

Still, you've got £1400 off me so it's not all bad news eh?

Look what I found:

Someone who isn't me did this

Please get in touch.

We could be BEST FRIENDS

Comet Watch:

This is Thierry Falque Pierrotin.

He's the head of Kesa Electronics.

Kesa Electronics is the parent company of Comet.

Thierry Falque Pierrotin has a stupid name.

Thierry Falque Pierrotin doesn't even buy stuff from Comet, Instead opting to purchase his goods from rival company Currys.

This is despite the fact that Thierry Falque Pierrotin probably gets at least a 10% staff discount from Comet.

That's how shit Comet is.

You know everything bad that's ever happened to you in your life?

All Comet's fault. And they're happy about it.

Infact, imagine something bad that's happened to you right now, and then look at the smug face of Thierry Falque Pierrotin in the above picture.

That's the face he pulled when he 'did your mum'.

Comet.......Again

Another day, another 'Comet is wank' post.

These will continue on a regular basis until my situation is rectified or I get told to stop by some solicitors.

I'm not trying to start any rumours, but I've never seen a black employee at my local branch of Comet.

Come to think of it, I've never even seen a black customer in there either.

Listen and understand. I'm out here. I can't be bargained with. I can't be reasoned with. I don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And I absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead (apologetic) and give me a full refund of my faulty appliance.

Next update. Comet use profits to fund terrorists.

Comet are still fucking me about!

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An email I found

I'm bored, so I decided to check my hotmail email account.

It's a bloody good job too as this little beauty was sat there waiting for me:

AN URGENT REPLY AND CALL NEEDED
THIS IS MY MOBILE NUMBER FOR URGENT CALLS

+226 78414827.

Good Day, Please Read very carefully. My name is MR MUSA OMARU; I’m the credit officer in BOA Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I have a business proposal in the tune of $4.5m, (four Million Five hundred Thousand Dollars only) after the successful transfer; we shall share in ratio of 40% for you and 60% for me. I want to front you in the bank so that you can apply for the claim of fund as the next of kin to our late customer Mr. Andreas Schranner who died years ago with his entire family while on holidays and several attempt has being made to locate his family without success.

I got your mail address through the international network (comtuerised datas) business media directorate when I was looking for a sure contact of someone who can assist me conclude up this transaction. I have chosen to contact you believing my faith you shall not betray or disappoint me when this fund valued USD$4.5million American dollars gets transfer into your nominated bank account.

You should understand that as an insider in the bank I will do every thing possible to protect your interest and to make sure that I follow things up as soon as you are willing to work this out with me because I will not want this money to go into the government purse. Should you be interested, please contact me so we can commence on all arrangements and I Will give you more information on how we would handle this project. Please treat this business with utmost confidentiality and send me the Following information: with this Email

(1) Full names:....................................................
(2) Private phone number:.....................................
(3) Current residential address:.....................................
(4) Occupation:................................................
(5) Age and Sex:.........................................

Kind Regards,

MR MUSA OMARU: +226 78414827

My favourite part is highlighted in yellow

Randomness is good

If you tried to IMAGINE every conceivable thing in the world, you would NEVER imagine this!

EVER!

But what is it?

A ninja weasel?

A dishwasher liquitab that also teaches your kids to speak Spanish?

Seven onions, one of which isn't actually an onion at all, but looks a bit like one so you mistakenly thought it was?

No. It's this:

A fucking dog!

Up a stick!